


Fallen Angels

by elyxions



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bestfriend!Jung Soojung, EXO Angst, EXO Smut, EXO ot9 minor appearances, Eventual Romance, F/M, Messy, Possible Love Triangle, Possibly Unrequited Love, Self-Harm, Smut, University Student Kim Jongin | Kai, University Student Park Chanyeol, angst just... a lot, jongin angst, possible triggers, strangers/acquaintances to lovers, toxic/unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 06:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26348671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyxions/pseuds/elyxions
Summary: You and Chanyeol have known each other for awhile and your relationship is... complicated to say the least and at some point you started growing feelings but immediately stopped yourself; saving yourself from another heartbreak. One day, you’re late to class and end up having to sit next to someone, someone you never realized that was in your class to begin with. You slowly but surely take an interest in him shortly after. As for your relationship with Chanyeol, you’ve grown tired of it; of him ruining you, and whatever the relationship you guys have. You want to call it quits with him but will he let you?I'm really bad with descriptions. I'm sorryㅠㅠ
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Reader, Kim Jongin | Kai/You, Park Chanyeol/Reader, Park Chanyeol/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Fallen Angels

**Author's Note:**

> ** This work is purely fiction. It may have have possible triggers. Reader discretion is advised. **
> 
> This is the first fic I’m actually putting into the works. I’ve had a lot of ideas for a long time, too many tbh and have been so indecisive (and scared lol) to actually go through with this. Sorry for any grammar mistakes. Hope you guys like it!~~ 💛
> 
> P.S. I'm awful at writing smut shvbsv hopefully with time I'll get better.

#### 22:53 Seoul, KR

“So, you’re not coming? Why not Y/N?”, your best friend Soojung whined through the phone.

Your steps come to a pause and you lean against the wall. Part of you wants to go club and forget everything but you’ve had an exhausting day.

“Because I just got out of class and now, I’m literally in front of my apartment.” you say tiredly.

“Pleaseeeee-“ You cut her off, “No Soojung not this time. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve met up, but I promise we will, I just really want to get some sleep tonight. And don’t drink too much tonight okay?“

She lets out a sigh. “Fine get some rest and yeah, yeah of course I won’t. I have class tomorrow; I didn’t forget you know.” You can hear the pout in her voice, which makes you laugh. “Alright, have fun, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Y/N!” she ends the call.

You sigh deeply with guilt for turning down your best friend. It’s for the best you think to yourself and turn towards the door inputting the code onto the keypad. You open the door and relief immediately washes over you as you were happy to be home and finally going to get good sleep tonight.

You slip off your shoes then flip the light switch, but you stop in your tracks.

There he is.

“Where were you?” You flinch at his deadpan tone and also at the fact that he was sitting on your sofa. He comes and goes as he pleases but it had been weeks since that happened, so you didn’t expect to see him here, sitting lax, leg crossed over the other, with his fist resting up against the side of his head.

You hesitate to close the door because part of you is screaming to just run. To not be in the same vicinity as Chanyeol.

“Close it.” he says with a calm demeanor.

You close it behind you. _~~Why?~~_

“I was just—“ 

“Getting fucked by some stranger again. Hm?”

You refuse to make eye contact with him.

“I didn’t know you were dabbling in your shitty habits again. What happened, that guy you tried dating broke it off after a week because he couldn’t put up with you and your shit?” He clicks his tongue when you don’t answer. “Or did it just get that bad while I was gone, and you needed a fuck? Was he better than me?” he adds sounding pissed as ever.

You roll your eyes and stay quiet. You know it’s better to not say a thing when he’s like this, but you do so regardless.

“Chanyeol,” you say his name, trying to sound as sincere as possible. “I’m sorry but I wasn’t—“

“Oh Y/N, no you’re not. You can drop the façade.” He rises from the sofa, straightening out his black fitted trousers.

You had no reason to be sorry but one thing for sure was that you didn’t fuck some random guy tonight, and you were proud of yourself for that.

“But I’m not lying to—“ “YES THE FUCK YOU ARE!” his voice booming through your apartment.

You tried. Pointless, but you tried.

You want to snap back at him and tell him that he’s wrong. _Okay, yeah it hadn’t worked out with the guy, but he also had no business in knowing that. And even so, what if that was the case, why would it matter to him? He never stopped you from doing it before._

Your eyes rake over his stature. He looks good as always you think to yourself.

“Well anyway, I came to drop in and see how you were doing. To see if...anything had changed but I guess not. And also, to tell you that the guys and I are getting together and you’re coming with.” He says whilst making his way toward you.

You narrow your eyes at him, “you know you could’ve just, I don’t know, maybe have called or texted all of this. You didn’t need to come by and “check on me.””

You continue before he can begin to interrupt you. “And where the hell have been? Have you been going to class? I’ve only been seeing the guys on campus except you...” He comes much too close for your liking _._ “I asked Baek where you’ve been, but he always just said that you’d attend class and leave right after...” you say looking up at him.

His eyes take in your expression and appearance. “ _So innocent.._.” he says to himself.

He leans forward, “Why? You worried about me?” You know exactly what Chanyeol’s trying to do, what he‘s always been doing ever since you’ve met. You need to try and stop it before it escalates.

“Yeol, let’s not do this...” you say turning your back towards him. You then take a few steps away to catch a breather. _How can he still have this effect on you?_

He continues, “Oh come on don’t be so cold, look I’m sorry for last time… I just came back love, the least you can do is stop trying to deny me.” You inwardly wince at the term of endearment and the fact that he knows you’re resisting him tonight.

He scoffs, “you know I heard you on the phone with Soojung. She’s your best friend, right?” You roll your eyes, not even bothering to respond.

”I’ll take that as yes then. But really Y/N if she’s your best friend shouldn’t she know all about you? About me?” Your mouth runs dry and you clench your fists, keeping your back towards him. The thought of them knowing each other and her knowing this side of you makes you sick.

He makes his way towards you, “Oh baby… you know I’m just having fun with you.” Nothing changes with Chanyeol, he gets off from seeing you like this. You know him all too well. Feeling his presence from behind, it makes you shudder as he embraces you. “You don’t find me fun anymore Y/N?”, he whispers lowly in your ear, making your eyes flutter closed. _Too fucking easy_. Just like that, you give in, because it felt good to stop resisting. Knowing you shouldn’t but do anyway, you turn around burying your face into Chanyeol’s chest. He swirls little circles on your lower back trying to calm you down. At least that’s what you’d like to believe but you know his true intention.

“You and I both know you can’t stay away,” he whispers, into the crook of your neck.

“Asshole,” you whisper back with a snarky tone.

It’s like a never ending cycle between you and Yeol, it was fun at first, but you’re over it. Now, you hate it. You wish you had never met him, maybe things would have turned differently for you; you wouldn’t be the way you are. You want to believe he’s never showing his full self to you, as you’ve seen it with your own eyes. Whenever he brought you around the guys, he always took care of you and had this protectiveness over you, but it still felt as if there was an imaginary line that was not to be crossed.

Regardless, whatever it was, he was always so happy and... alive. It really felt like you knew him but after seeing him with the guys, you’ve realized that you barely did. But one thing’s for sure is that this Chanyeol was one that you wanted to see more of. What was wrong with you? Did he really not grow any feelings for you at all? Not even for a second? It’s not like you were growing unbearable feelings for him, it’s just that you wanted something with someone, something real and for whatever reason you thought Chanyeol would be that someone, but you let go of that thought a long time ago. So, you’ve convinced yourself otherwise that you only deserve the version of Chanyeol you’re used to, because you know you’ve got nothing else to lose in your love life at this point. You can’t even hold a real relationship with another guy for over a week so screw it all, one last time won’t hurt. You look up to meet his gaze. Relief washes over you seeing that it’s the same as always. Then, you lock your lips with his.

Damn.

Just one more time, you’ll slip. You’re practically already melting just from kissing him. _This is going to be hard. Really hard._

You break the kiss and look at him, “Yeol...”

He hums in response.

“Bedroom. Now.”

He smiles and carries you bridal style to your room.

He places you down on the bed gently. God, you wish he didn’t make you this weak. It’s like he has you under a spell every time you end up like this. Both of you waste no time discarding your clothes. He hovers over you, dipping down, leaving burning kisses along your clavicle and neck. Just by that you want more of him. Chanyeol does not fail to notice your wanting as you grind your hips up against his and the wetness starting to pool between your legs. You pull him closer to your body, tangling your hands in his freshly dyed black hair, and kiss him roughly. A low moan escapes from him as you bite his lip pleading for entrance. He deepens the kiss, it’s messy but god its got you hazy already. He leans away, looking at you in the eyes, “You want me that bad?” He smirks at you. “It’s been a while hasn’t it baby?” You shamelessly nod in confirmation. His eyes turn dark, with a glint of something unrecognizable. Something you’ve never seen before, but right now you don’t have time to think about that.

He flips your frame over; your face now against the bed. “So…you never answered my question” _his all too familiar touch traces the curves of your body_ “Where were you really?”

“Yeol~ please not now…” you say greedily.

“Answer me,” he demands.

You quickly reply, “I was just coming back from class.”

“Uh-huh.” His right hand traces the arch in your back all the way down, finding its way in between your legs. He curses under his breath as he moves his fingers into your dripping slit. Your body staggers and a moan falls from your lips. _Fuck, only his fingers are making me react,_ you think.

“But I know you fucked some nobodies while I was gone. So how many Y/N?” He begins thrusting his fingers in and out at quicker pace. Your breathing rapidly increases, “I, I... fuck Yeol I think I’m already going to-” He stops his ministrations completely, leaving you frustrated. “Not yet sweetheart, I’m afraid you took too long answer.” He slowly starts moving his fingers once more, “I’ll ask again. How many?”

“I,I...it was only...three...I swear Yeol...,” you manage to get out in between moans. You can feel that you’re already close but to your dismay, he slows down. “Is. that. so.,” he says, voice laced with disdain and jealousy. He picks up the pace once again, but then abruptly stops. Your breathing hitches when he suddenly adds another finger, stretching you out. He places his thumb on your clit moving it in a circular motion making you push your hips up yearning to feel him more, but he holds them down. Your eyes glaze over, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You’ve missed this. You’ve missed _him_. No man had ever made you feel or cum the way Chanyeol had. He starts thrusting his fingers in and out much quicker now, as his thumb swirls your clit and fingers curling up to reach your g-spot it’s beginning to feel too much for you, but you love it. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you begin to feel that your climax is nearing. “Faster,” you plea breathlessly. He does so causing you to cum all over his fingers. He continues to swirl your clit, making you quiver and grab at the bed sheets. If you could see his face now, you’d know his eyes are filled with lust and want. “Chanyeol please. Do something more... I want you right now...so please put it in,“ you beg. You look over your shoulder to see him stroking himself then look up to meet his eyes. He's always loved seeing you come undone and begging for him. You squeeze your legs together trying to ease the wetness pooling between your legs. He aligns himself and slides his cock in, both of you moan out in unison. “So tight.” He pulls his cock out just a bit seeing that already dripping down and coating the prominent veins. He pushes himself back in filling you up completely, he starts with slow and steady strokes. “Faster, don’t hold back”, you moan out. “Fuck,” he moans as he smacks and kneads your ass. You don’t even try to suppress the moans falling from your lips as he continues snapping his hips into you. “Yeol I-.“ He abruptly stops. “Don’t you dare. Hold it until I say.” He pulls out, bringing your hips up, and thrusts himself back in.

After a while, you feel his cock twitching inside of you, signaling that he’s close. You can’t hold on anymore, tears falling down from your eyes, letting out a whimper as you let go. Your body shivers as he keeps fucking you. “No more...please... it’s too... much," you say lowly. Your legs give out from under you, but he holds you steady.

“Y-Yeol, I... c-can’t, no more...please.” He leans forward caressing your face, whispering in your ear from behind, “just one more time love, I’m not finished with you yet.” With your eyes fluttering shut, you give him a nod.

He pulls your body up against his. With one hand gripping your waist and the other cupping your breast, he pistons his hips up into you. You move one of your hands ontp his abdomen to ease his strokes but that only makes him swat it away and fuck you faster. All that can be heard are lewd sounds beaming throughout your bedroom. He rests his head in the crest of your neck and murmurs “Don’t ever let some other fucking nobody fuck you; you hear me?” You let out a whimper. “I’m the only one who can fuck you like this...right baby?” You barely manage to get your words out. “Y-yes...” you moan out.

He groans as he feels you tighten around his cock. “Fuck, I’m the only one...who can... make you cum...you cum for me...only,” he says in between breaths. You whimper aloud with a cracked voice, “Chanyeol I...“ Tears well up in your eyes as he continues with deep strokes. “Let go love,” he says as your orgasm hits you like a truck making you cry out and dig your nails into his thighs.

He cums soon after, and your knees give out making you fall back onto the bed. With heavy breaths and a shaky body, you somehow manage to roll onto your back. You’re now facing Yeol, who is staring at you with a satisfied look. You stare back at him then tear away your eyes because fuck, how the hell are you going to tell him that you want it to be over. He moves off the bed throwing you one of your shirts from your drawer then goes to bathroom to clean himself. He slips his boxers back on, climbing into bed next to you; hugging your body close to his, then draping the duvet over the both of you.

He’s so warm you think, _but they’ll be no more of this after_ \- , “what’s on your mind?” he asks, words ripping you from your thoughts. “You know I can tell when something’s bothering you.”

You hesitate to answer, “I just...” _— c’mon say it, say it,—_ “…was wondering where you were this whole time. You never called or texted.”

“Pft, well, you never called or texted to ask me.” He was right. You had contemplated contacting him, but you didn’t want to cross a line.

“Well it doesn’t matter where I’ve been.” He pauses, “just like Baek said, I just went straight to and from class.” His eyes flutter shut.

He’s lying.

Although you sense he’s also partially telling the truth. You hum in understanding, not wanting to pry. Knowing it’s probably best not to since you can hear the sleepiness in his voice, you don’t bother.

A few minutes pass and Chanyeol’s fast asleep, meanwhile you lie awake thinking about how to go about your plan. You turn to face him, he’s handsome, always has been. You move his hair fringe away from his eyebrows and trace your fingers along the side of his face then his jaw, appreciating his face once more. Suddenly the feeling of guilt rushes over you, making you retract your hand. The same feeling you had when you saw him and didn’t turn away; the feeling of regret and knowing that you just did something horribly wrong. Your throat feels constricted and your eyes grow glassy. You can’t cry here, not next to him. So, you quietly slip out of the bed, scurrying to your bathroom. You slowly close the door and lock it then lean against the door. Looking up at the ceiling you take a deep breath and let your tears flow out. You’re mad at yourself, you knew this shit was going to happen and you did nothing to stop it.

 _Why, just why? I fucking slipped and allowed myself to do so. I can’t keep doing this shit, it isn’t helping me... at all. What’s wrong with me? There isn’t anything wrong me, I was born into a happy and stable family, life was good. Where did it go wrong? Where did_ **_I_ ** _go wrong? Right. Park Chanyeol. Why did he have to come here tonight? I should’ve just walked out as soon as I saw him. We’re not technically friends and we’re definitely not dating so what is it? We’re just sex partners? That can’t be it either because we still hangout with each other, well really only if he says so... I know he doesn’t like me nor love me so why the fuck do I care for him when all he does is take from me? I guess I deserve this. So...I should just keep screwing guys whenever...to fill this void. That’s all I’m good for. Guys don’t like me for me, I can’t even keep a relationship. And it’s me not them, it’s always been me. Me. I’m the problem. I fucking deserve all of this; I did this to myself. Just as he’s said many times before, “it won’t last.” I just want to be and feel okay. I want to change, I really do.”_

You tangle your fingers in your hair as you break down. You can’t handle your mind or your emotions right now. After turning Soojung down and knowing that Yeol would wake up if you tried to get ready and leave, going to the club is out of the question. You don’t even want to have sex with another guy right now after what he just made you experience either.

You raise your sleeve looking at the slightly visible scarring and run your fingers over them. _Don’t._ You had told yourself you would stop doing this for good but here you are now, doing it again. Chanyeol was right, nothing had changed about you. Blood surfaces and it stings but not as much as you need it to. None of what you’re doing clearly isn’t helping in the way you want it to. You’re mad that you’re like this, as if you can’t handle what’s been going on with yourself for a while. You go a bit deeper, letting out a cry of pain a little too loud causing you to clasp a hand over your mouth. Praying that Chanyeol didn’t hear it because you’re in no mood to have a discussion about this, then again, it’s _not like he would notice anyway, nor would you want him to._

It’s been an almost an hour since you’ve been in the bathroom and your swollen eyes are trying to fight the sleep that’s creeping up on them. So, you get up and wet a piece of paper towel to dab off the dry blood wincing at the soreness. After, you rinse your face and the back of your neck with cold water, making you feel a little better. Looking at yourself in the mirror, that feeling diminishes immediately. Your eyes are swollen and bloodshot, and you’re tired and overwhelmed in more ways than one. All you wanted was to come home and sleep, but you couldn’t even do that... you laugh at reflection. You ignore the urge to cry again, holding your tears. You take a deep breath and shake yourself off, then walk towards the door. While trying to make the least amount of noise, you slowly open the door peeping your head out first then maneuver your way out.

Relieved at the site, you slip back into bed. As soon as you do Chanyeol turns on his side towards you, wrapping his free arm around your waist making you tense up. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding and attempt to relax yourself. Looking at the clock on your nightstand to your dismay, today is already tomorrow. You inwardly groan remembering you have an 8am later so you shut your eyes and try to get some sleep.

_Just tell him first thing in the morning and that will be it, then we’ll be done..._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this far!😊 I'm already working on the next chapters! Please look forward to it~~ -T


End file.
